Can I Borrow Your Highlighter?

I asked my daughter this question the other day as I was doing my weekly class reading for my current Parsons course. I only had a yellow highlighter, which I had been using up to this point, and I wanted something different and brighter. Something that would make the textbook reading feel a bit brighter and more interesting as I had three chapters to tackle and this week’s topic wasn’t lighting me up.

She reached into her schoolbag and pulled out four different highlighters. Four! She had orange, pink, blue, and green. At the ready! “Whoa; Thanks lady!”, I said and I promised to return them when I was finished. Happy to report that I finished my reading using these borrowed highlighters which made completing the assignment so much more enjoyable. It’s the little things, right? When I returned the highlighters to my daughter’s school bag, I couldn’t help but think.  Isn’t highlighting fun? Think about it. When we highlight, we get to choose what we think is important. We get to decide what the main takeaway message is. And highlighting is physical proof that we did the work. “Yeah, I read the chapters, See!? The pages are highlighted.” Check.

I think of this concept of highlighting when it comes to helping women get dressed and loving how they show up in the world. There have been countless times that I’ve heard women express to me which parts of their bodies that they don’t like. They go straight to explaining what features they would love to hide. Maybe it’s their tummy, hips, legs, arms…you name it. Their goal is to choose an outfit that disguises their perceived flaws so that they will feel better and like the way they look.

Pause. Hmmm. Does that make you feel better? Focusing on the negative? Which part of pointing out what you don’t like about yourself makes you like the way you look? What kind of message are we sending to ourselves when our biggest priority when we get dressed is to intentionally hide, disguise, and downplay certain features. OUR features. The ones we were born with. For starters, it changes the entire energy around getting dressed. Instead of focusing on what we love, we head into our closets armed and ready to choose something with our highest priority being to conceal, mask, and camouflage a part of ourselves. Okay, both hands up. That can’t feel good.

I get it. If you don’t love your feet, let’s not stride into work today with sling-back, peeps-toes, alright? But let’s choose to shift our focus. What if we took a different approach? What if, instead of hiding, we chose to highlight? You heard me, sister. Instead of focusing on what we don’t like, we can decide to celebrate what we love about ourselves. And highlight that instead. Different energy. Let’s watch it in action.

Do you love your eyes? Skin? Hair? Shoulders? Waistline? It’s okay to admit it. Now, get out your new highlighter. Get dressed around that. You see, when we head into our closets and get dressed with the energy of what we’d like to highlight versus what we’d like to hide, it’s like we are telling ourselves that we are beautiful just as we are. Totally different energy here. It’s enjoyable. It’s confidence building. And, as a result, we show up differently for our day. The shirt you chose that compliments your beautiful eyes really plays up that personal feature that is so uniquely YOU. Belting that dress for the first time to highlight your slim waist draws the attention to what you love. Not only for the people who will see you but for how you learn to see yourself today and in the future.

You’ve only got one body. It’s been with you since the day you were born. It’s gotten you through every stage of your life. It’s gotten you to today. Let’s appreciate what it has done for us by speaking nicely to it. We are always reminded of how we can take care of our bodies with nutritious food, water, and exercise. Now, let’s add a new approach and treat it well by the way you think, feel, and speak to it. By the messages you send to it. Today, you’ll stop dressing to hide and you’ll start dressing to highlight. Here, you can borrow my highlighter, in any color you like, and there’s no need to return it. Focus on the positive and the beautiful you. Remember, what makes you different is what makes you beautiful. Cheers.