I remember when I was expecting my first child and was beginning to show. The days of wearing the clothes in my closet were limited as I found it more of a challenge to find pants that fit my growing belly and the staple shirts I usually reached for just refused to be tucked in anymore. As I complained about the state of my style affairs to my mom on a typical morning call, my mom declared that we were going to go shopping for maternity clothes. “Save the date!”, she said and I was ecstatic. The goal of our shopping day was to find outfits that would take me through the rest of my pregnancy for both my career and my personal life. I was really looking forward to the day- not so much because I would be getting new clothes but because I always eagerly anticipated spending a full day with my mom. Shopping (with a plan!) and having lunch was an activity that we did together a couple of times a year. My mom would always declare before we hit the stores, “We are going to be so successful today!” And it was no surprise that we always were. I mean, how could we not be with that positive attitude?! My mom always had the most optimistic and upbeat mindset which I credit to not only learning from her but instilling in my own children.
The shopping day arrived and I was so excited! We decided to hit a big maternity store in my area that had both middle and high-end clothing (Destination Maternity and Pea in the Pod, anyone?). For point of reference, maternity clothing options weren’t as readily available as they are today and shopping online wasn’t as mainstream yet. Also, the thought of buying clothes for my growing belly (and body) without trying it on first seemed utterly preposterous. I digress…
We arrived at the store. Couldn’t wait. Armed with a positive attitude and a mom that was unstoppable, we filled our arms up with numerous garments and the goal, I believe, was to emerge from this shopping trip with three complete outfits. I had a high-profile career at the time and needed ensembles that I could wear to work and feel great, even though anyone who has ever been pregnant knows, that feeling can change on a dime. Still, I was ready to step into this stage of my life and this new body and own it!
Or was I??
I went into the changing room and the try-on sesh began. Garment after garment, I announced, “I don’t like it” as I moved on to more pants, more blouses, and more dresses. “No”, “No”, “HELL NO!”, “Seriously!?”, and “Definitely not” were spewing from my mouth as I was sweating under the dressing room lights, frustrated, buried in a heap of discarded clothes that were no longer options. My mom stood patiently outside the door, looked at every piece I tried on when the door swung open, and gave honest compliments when something looked good. I wasn’t having it. Finally, in her true fashion of “saying it like it is” and “shooting straight from the hip”, she told me, “You’re going to need to change your definition of what looks good on you”.
You know when your mom is right and she gives it to you straight between the eyes and it just annoys you because you know your attitude needs to change?? Yep, that was one of those moments. So, I closed the dressing room door so that I could be by myself and change my outfit AND my attitude.
Remember, these were not the days when people took social media photos of their pregnant bodies strategically wrapped in a chiffon scarf with studio fans blowing ever so elegantly while they looked away from the camera and lovingly held their bellies with a caption that read “35 weeks pregnant. So blessed.” You’ve seen it. Maybe you have that photo and don’t get me wrong, they are beautiful, but when I was pregnant, that wasn’t a thing. So yes, times have changed just a bit (wink) but the need for a fresh outlook during a new season of life has not.
It didn’t take me long to realize that I was holding on to a past version of myself instead of stepping into a new one. Thankfully, I was one of those women that loved being pregnant so giving myself the permission to step into who I was becoming- even while sitting on the bench in the dressing room- only took a couple of minutes. I felt grateful, blessed, and decided to step into that season with a fresh outlook. I needed to change my attitude and my self-image needed a swift makeover- just like my wardrobe did. It was then, that I decided I would embrace this finite season when your body belongs to your little one.
When you change that way that you look at things, the things you look at begin to change. It was in that moment that I decided, I was going to see myself differently and embrace my new, changing body. After all, I knew that once my daughter was born, I would “get my body back” and I did. But for those beautiful expectant months, I decided that I would be a “stylish pregnant lady” (yes- my words, not my mom’s).
My mom and I had a great day. And of course, we were successful! We bought casual and work outfits and ended the day talking about my purchases over our traditional “salad pig-out lunch”. The biggest lesson I learned that day is that we often hold on so tightly to outdated versions of ourselves in an effort to stay exactly the same. But, one thing that is always constant and never changes is that we are always evolving. Life is in a constant state of change. Every season offers us something new and beautiful as long as we are willing to change the definition of what looks and feels good to us. Are you stepping into who you are today? Are you dressing for this season of your life? It’s so much more fun to live fully into your current season as opposed to longing for a previous one. Give it a try. Promise- it always fits and it will always look good on you.
