Style as Self-Care

I have a confession to make. A few years ago, I made an appointment with a stylist. I understand that may sound a bit crazy coming from a professional stylist herself but I needed a second opinion on my wardrobe and I wasn’t looking to get it from my husband or a friend. I wanted an objective person who knew her stuff and could answer my specific style questions with a fresh perspective. After all, I was no rookie to the style game and I needed someone who understood that and could meet me where I was at.

You see, life had presented me with some challenges. First, my mom had passed away and overcoming the grief that comes with losing a parent is a long process. In addition, my longtime role at work had changed dramatically which impacted how I felt about my job. The changes led me to make the decision to leave the company and pursue other opportunities.  Finally, my childhood best friend passed away which left a heaviness on my heart. I mean, (exhale), that’s a lot. In retrospect, I credit myself with the strength to get dressed and show up every day because I knew that this would help me grow through the changes and emerge a stronger and renewed woman.

It was during this time that I remember heading into my closet and thinking “I don’t like anything that I have”. Now if you know me, I have a clear style point of view so I couldn’t figure out why the clothes in my closet felt like a foreign version of myself. The fit and flare style dresses that I had worn for years now seemed completely out of place in my life. I didn’t feel like the kind of woman who would wear such young, innocent styles, and yet, I couldn’t put my finger on why. (In hindsight, it was so obvious.)

So, I reasoned that bringing in a stylist would shed some light on the situation. At the very least, it would help me begin to wear more of what I had in my closet again. I was keen enough to know that a trip to the mall would lead to impulsive shopping and buyer remorse. And I wasn’t interested in that. It was more about seeing my clothes through a new lens, making different styling choices, and wearing the clothes in my closet in a way that allowed me to express the new woman I had become.

Needless to say, working with a stylist was an enlightening experience; A true form of self-care at a time when I really needed it.  It was better than manicure, a blowout, or a weekend getaway. It was an investment in myself which underscored my belief that as we evolve on the inside, it affects how we want to show up on the outside. It reminded me that each experience in our lives helps us to become more of who we are supposed to be. Isn’t that a beautiful thing?

If you feel like you’re in a style rut, it’s probably because you have evolved but your closet doesn’t reflect those changes yet. Sometimes it’s a series of styling tweaks that will make you feel more like yourself and sometimes it’s a buying new outfits to echo the changes within.  I am happy to report that this version of me still loves bright colors, wrap dresses, and a good monochromatic ensemble, but the way I wear my style looks and feels very different. And I love this version of myself.

What changes have you gone through in your life that have shifted the way you need to show up for yourself? Does your closet reflect that? Wherever you are in your style journey, it may be time to call on your personal stylist. Yep, that’s me. You might just find it’s the perfect time to indulge in this form of self-care. Meet you in your closet. Cheers to loving this version of yourself.