Your Internal Holiday Shopping Guide

Recently, my Fashion History professor at Parsons School of Fashion Design asked my class to share when we knew we wanted to pursue fashion as a career. I shared with my class that I could probably describe what I wore to just about every important event in my life. She concurred enthusiastically with my self-reflection. “Yes!”, she said. “You know that you’re into fashion when you can describe what you’ve worn to events in your life, and many times, do so in detail!” Yep, that’s me. Ask me what I wore to a graduation, a home opener, or job interview, and I am rattling it off in description- sometimes disguising my solid memory with a “I think I wore…” kind of delivery.  But I know.  And along with the outfit, I can probably tell you how I felt while I was wearing it.

I am sure I will be able to remember what I wore to a Christmas event this year when the experience begins to become a memory in my heart. It’s foggy when that shift happens in our minds, but it does so in a way that crystalizes what we want to remember and what we decide to let go of.

Did you get what you wanted for the holidays? If you’re like me, there really isn’t much on your list. I remember asking my mom this question. “When does a person go from having a long Christmas list to simply saying, ‘There’s really nothing I want’.” She told me it was when someone is old enough to buy it for themselves. I’m there. My list has a couple of items on it, always including a book, and maybe something frivolous, that although I could buy it for myself, I won’t or just don’t. Rather, I am much more excited to see my daughters wake up on Christmas morning excited for the magic of the holiday, and me, enjoying a fresh cup of coffee with my husband while a fire blazes in the fireplace, just internalizing gratitude to God that everyone is safe, healthy, and happy.

However, it is around this time of year that I reflect on the last twelve months and look forward to the new year ahead. Usually with another cup of coffee in hand and probably wearing a fuzzy robe. This is the time of the season that my pen comes out and I make a small gift list of things I’d love to receive. Except this list is different. Nothing on this list is something you can purchase at a store and there isn’t anything on my list that even costs a dime. No one can give these gifts to me. Rather, these are gifts only I can give myself and I am happy to do so intentionally and lovingly.  Let’s call it an internal shopping list. I encourage you to make a list like this for yourself. And then shop your mind for the gifts. What would be at the top of your list this year?

For me, I’m going to live into my core values this year more than ever. Have you shopped for words that unequivocally express your truest self? The words that define what you stand for, and that, when you feel yourself experiencing them, discover that you are living in total alignment?

And what things have made their way onto your list that you don’t even want? Let’s start with crossing off judgement. What others think of you. Or what you think of yourself that isn’t serving you. Are you ready to cross that off your list and enjoy the freedom of true self-expression without the weight of caring what others think? I’ve crossed that off and let me tell you, it’s a game changer.

What if, this year, you decided to give yourself the gift of self-expression? Trusting your inner compass and following where it leads you unapologetically and feeling free to express the changes it brings about in you on the inside. One of the hardest yet most beautiful things about life is that it is always changing.  And as a result, so are we. What if the new year was all about stepping into a new version of yourself? Can you see her? What is she wearing and how is she feeling? Decide that you’ll remember.

So, what’s on your internal shopping list this year? As you’ve probably learned, nothing truly enduring is found in a box or wrapped with a bow. If you’re like me, you’ve taken care of your family and you find comfort in knowing that those you love will someday share a memory of this holiday that you have worked hard to fill with love, peace, and joy. Now it’s time to give yourself a gift that will become a memory of this holiday season for you.  You may find that you’ll remember what you wore the moment you decided to make this list. After all, it’s an important event. And I’ve learned that major events don’t require thousands of people to see, watch, or cheer for. They are often quiet and intentional. With an audience of one. What are you wearing for the event?